The Confidence Myth

This week, I had a conversation over coffee that stayed with me far longer than the coffee itself.

On Monday after work, I met my wonderful friend Galia for coffee. The sun was shining, it was ridiculously hot and, at the time, we thought it couldn't possibly get any hotter. Looking back now, I realise just how wrong we were.

As usual, we were happily gasbagging away when two women, both in their early eighties, sat down at the table beside us. Before long, we were all chatting and what followed was one of those conversations that I'll remember for a very long time.

They told us stories of their lives as Tiller Girls, dating pop stars, glamorous nights out and adventures that felt straight out of a film. Galia and I were completely captivated. Every story led to another question because we wanted to know more.

What struck me though wasn't the stories themselves, brilliant as they were, but the fact that both women kept apologising for telling them.

"I don't want to sound like I'm bragging."

"I probably sound full of myself."

To us, they weren't bragging in the slightest.

If anything, we were begging them for more stories.

The Stories We Don't Tell About Ourselves

One woman spoke about giving up a singing and dancing career because she doubted herself on stage and turned to hairdressing, a career she loved, yet somehow spoke about it as though she'd fallen short.

The other talked about famous musicians she had dated but barely mentioned her own career in theatre and raising her children as a single mother, as though it was the men who made her story interesting, not her.

Listening to them made me realise something.

No matter our age, generation or achievements, so many of us carry the same burden of self doubt.

I think we often imagine confidence arrives with age. That one day we simply wake up and grow into it. Yet here were two extraordinary women who had lived extraordinary lives and still questioned their own worth.

Perhaps confidence isn't something we arrive at after all.

Perhaps it is something we choose despite the doubt.

What It Made Me Think About

Their stories made me think about Olive & Joyce.

There have been many moments over the years when I've thought about giving up. Moments when life felt hard and running a business felt even harder. Moments when I wondered whether it would be easier to get a full time job and leave all this uncertainty behind.

Whenever those thoughts appeared, I reminded myself that I'd be letting my customers down.

Then there was another thought.

I couldn't bear the idea of letting my grandmothers down too.

The women who are Olive & Joyce.

In my darkest moments, I even wondered whether closing the business would somehow feel like losing them all over again.

Sitting with those two women made me realise something I hadn't fully understood before.

Yes, I keep going because of my customers.

Yes, I keep going because of my grandmothers.

But I also keep going for me.

Maybe Confidence Looks Different Than We Think

Despite the self doubt.

Despite the fear.

Despite the countless occasions when I wasn't sure I was good enough.

The difference isn't that some women are born confident and others aren't.

The difference is often that some simply keep going.

Maybe that's bravery.

Maybe it's stubbornness.

I like to think it's a little bit of both.

Those two women left with our phone numbers and probably thought they'd simply shared a few stories with two strangers over coffee.

What they actually did was remind me that confidence isn't the absence of doubt.

It's refusing to let doubt make your decisions for you.

Why I'm Sharing This

So if you're reading this while questioning yourself, your abilities or whether you're capable of doing the thing that's been sitting on your heart for years, consider this your reminder.

You don't have to feel fearless to be brave.

Sometimes bravery is simply carrying on.

Sadly, I never created an Olive & Joyce cream labelled "Instant Confidence". If I had, I'd be using it every day.

What I can offer is skincare handmade with love, history and care. Made using 100% natural organic ingredients and inspired by the women who taught me that looking after yourself isn't vanity, it's self respect.

Because while I can't bottle confidence, I do believe that taking a few moments to care for yourself is a wonderful place to start.

Thank you for being here, for supporting Olive & Joyce and for allowing this little business to keep doing what it loves most.

With love,

Emily xxx

Founder, Olive & Joyce